How Whitney Changed My Life...

This post is not a commentary on the life of Whitney Houston. It is not a tribute to her, either. This was inspired by her passing, but only in that I heard this song again a lot. It made me realize how big of an impact the lyrics had on me. This is what the post is about:

“The Greatest Love of All” helped to shape the person I am.

When this song came out, I was just shy of 7 years old. It was a hard time in my life, really. People seemed to think that I dealt with it well, but I wasn't. I was watching my mom and dad split up. Thankfully, there wasn't any violence, but I remember how palpable the tension was. At times, it would boil over.

I saw my mom struggling to keep her family together, and my dad struggling with the decision to be done. I didn't exactly know that was what was happening at the time. I just knew they were holding each other back. There was a day in the car when my dad told my mom that if she put one more thing in it she better not come back. I held myself back from saying, “does that go for me, too?” I just wanted the fighting to be over. I beat myself up over not saying it, and letting them hold me back. At 7 years old, I decided:

“never to walk in anyone's shadows 
If I fail, if I succeed 
At least I'll live as I believe 
No matter what they take from me 
They can't take away my dignity “

I was never going to have that pain. NEVER.

This was also right about the time I started to realize that what my parents had to teach me wasn't what other kids learned from their parents. It took several years to come to the full realization that what I had to learn was the kind of person NOT to be. About the time I hit my teens, I actively started taking my parents example and doing the opposite. It worked out well, really.

However, it left me lonely because:

“People need someone to look up to
I never found anyone who fulfill my needs
A lonely place to be
So I learned to depend on me “

I was isolated, and angry, and lonely for a long time and for reasons that went deeper than my parents divorce. Those are tales for another time, though. Anger wasn't bad for me, though. It made me dream of a better place. That's where the beginning of the song came in:

“I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be “

I knew there must be a way to change the world. I searched for it for years, and then I lived it. Loving myself, not walking in anyone or anything's shadow and showing the world my light is how I've shown the children (and we're all children, universally) the beauty they possess inside. Accepting my beauty allows me the ability not to judge theirs.